Dissapointments, Irritation and Failure

Tuesday was my father's birthday. When I got home after work, it was only him in the house...the girls had some errand to run. Anyway, I did something I rarely do, just sat and had a drink with him. I don't know if it was the alcohol talking, or he just felt like saying it, but he told me that one of his disappointments in life was that I never joined the military. I really don't know what to think of this. I know he had suggested a few times that I join...but I didn't realize that I would make feel that way by not doing it. It's a family tradition that I dropped. I had the chance, didn't join, and I don't regret it, but still, I ponder what he thinks of that.

My mom is going to take out Kayla and friends to Wet and Wild tomorrow, since it is the last day before school. I get discounted tickets at work, so I told my mom to tell me how many she needed. She said 7 should be good in case everyone showed up. When I got home, I gave my mom the tickets, and sh freaked out on me. Instead of thanking me for going out of my way to pick them up, she asked why I bought tickets...she thought they were only coupons. I explained to her before what they were, I explained again then, but she seemed upset. You know, I always feel that I can't please.

Talking to Kayla a few weeks ago, we talked about how my dad's attitudes are the same as over. He is stubborn (that's where I get that from). I remember he would never admit to being wrong, acted like he knew everything. Even when I knew I was right, he still insisted he was. Because of that, to this day, I have an issue of being though as wrong. Too many times I feel that my views, opinions, knowledge is not accepted. That irritates me.

In a few months, my friend Meredith is going to graduate from NMSU. Look, I'm getting passed by again when it comes to a degree. Even my adviser sounded shocked when he said I was on my tenth year of college. I know I only need 32 hours left to get a degree, but I doubt I'll have it by 30. This is getting ridiculous. I feel like a massive fuck up sometimes. I am determined to finish, but that's just wearing me down.

I don't know if there's anything thing in my life to be proud of. Maybe I'll get something right eventually.......